The AI Report Card

Tesla, Alphabet, Intel, and IBM kick off a pivotal week of Big Tech earnings.

Market Snapshot

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Market News

The Market's Odyssey: Sirens, Straits, and Semis

Monday opened like a hero’s welcome and closed like chapter one of a very long boat ride. The S&P 500 jumped 0.5%, and the Nasdaq popped 0.8% as chips bounced, but the bid leaked all afternoon.

By the bell:

  • The S&P had slipped 0.19% to 7,443.28. 

  • The Nasdaq finished basically flat at 25,508.07 (down 0.05%).

  • The Dow shed 307 points (-0.59%) to 51,839.26.

  • Apple's near-3% drop did most of the demolition work on the 30-stock index.

Blame the geography. The U.S. logged a ninth consecutive day of strikes on Iran overnight and confirmed the death of a third American service member, prompting a presidential Truth Social post promising Tehran would pay. Hope flickered midmorning when Iran’s foreign ministry said mediators were still shuttling proposals and negotiations remained possible.

Then Yemen’s Houthis declared a maritime embargo on Saudi Arabia, whose Yanbu terminal moves roughly 4.5 million barrels a day through the Red Sea, and the peace trade got torpedoed before lunch.

Crude did the whiplash thing. Brent pierced $90 for the first time in more than a month before settling back near $89 and change, while WTI hovered around $83. Only a handful of tankers dared the Strait of Hormuz on Sunday, and Tehran claims it tagged two of them.

Meanwhile, European natural gas hit €60/MWh for the first time since mid-March, bonds sold off as everyone re-ran the inflation math, and gold sat above $4,000/oz with silver around $57. 

Under the hood, the great AI rotation kept rotating:

  • The VanEck Semiconductor ETF swung from up 3.1% to down to breakeven intraday before settling up 0.41%.

  • The SOX still sits about 20% below its late-June peak after last week's drubbing.

  • The equal-weight S&P has quietly held near record territory.

This overall means that money isn't leaving the market; it's leaving the GPU casino for financials, industrials, and anything that pumps, refines, or insures a barrel. Even AMD's blockbuster Microsoft win (more below) couldn't keep the whole complex green into the close.

All of which tees up the real main event: earnings.

  • Tesla, Alphabet, Intel, and IBM report this week, and Wall Street has raised the bar for each, hunting for proof that AI spending is turning into AI revenue.

  • GM, 3M, Northrop Grumman, and a parade of industrials kick things off Tuesday morning.

Strategists are calling it a headline-driven week… a polite way of saying nobody's making a big bet until Big Tech proves the monetization or the missiles stop, whichever comes first.

Peel Take: Homer gave Odysseus a choice between Scylla and Charybdis; the market's version is oil-fed inflation on one side and AI multiples priced for divinity on the other. Monday proved traders will still buy a whisper of diplomacy faster than they'll price a blockade; that morning pop on "mediators are talking" tells you the dip-buying reflex is alive and well. We think that reflex keeps winning until something actually breaks: a Hormuz closure that sticks, or a Big Tech print showing the AI money isn't coming back fast enough.

What's Ripe

AMC Entertainment (AMC) 26.8%

  • Q2 revenue climbed 14% to $1.6B, the biggest quarterly haul in company history, flipping to $104M in adjusted net earnings from a loss a year ago, with attendance up 13.5%.

  • More than 4.3 million moviegoers hit AMC and Odeon theaters Thursday through Sunday for The Odyssey's $124.5M domestic / $264.1M global opening; six U.S. locations literally never closed, running showtimes for 85+ consecutive hours.

  • Premium formats make up just 8% of AMC's screens but drove over half of Odyssey ticket sales, and Texas Capital upgraded the stock to Buy with a target bump from $2 to $3.

  • Peel Take: The original ape stock finally mooned on, checks notes, fundamentals? For once, the rocket emojis came with a P&L attached. Before anyone re-downloads Robinhood, remember the shares are still down about a third over the past year, and the share count has seen more expansion than the Marvel universe.

Advanced Micro Devices (AMD) 1.6%

  • Microsoft committed to deploying AMD's Helios rack-scale systems across Azure to run frontier-model AI inference, joining Meta, OpenAI, and Oracle on the customer list, with shipments starting in the back half of 2026.

  • Rosenblatt and UBS both hiked their price targets, stacking onto a stock that's already up roughly 130% YTD heading into AMD's Advancing AI event later this week.

  • Peel Take: Call it a Trojan Horse rolling through Azure's gates, except this one has a shipping label and Redmond signed for the delivery. Hyperscalers are desperate for a second source so Jensen can't name his price until the heat death of the universe, and Lisa Su keeps taking Nvidia's lunch money one polite bite at a time. The spicy irony: the worst-performing Mag 7 stock of the year is the one handing AMD its biggest validation yet.

What's Rotten

Sweetgreen (SG) 6.1%

  • The FDA's ongoing cyclospora investigation, a parasite traced to Taylor Farms iceberg lettuce from central Mexico served at Taco Bell locations in five states, kept the entire raw-veggie complex radioactive, and Friday's 14% relief rally fully reversed.

  • Here's the kicker: Sweetgreen doesn't even use iceberg lettuce, and says none of its ingredients have been implicated; the market is selling first and asking about crop sourcing later.

  • Peel Take: Nothing pairs worse with a $16 bowl than the words "intestinal parasite," even when it's somebody else's lettuce. This is guilt by association at the chlorophyll level: SG is getting punished for a crouton-adjacent crime it didn't commit. The trade from here is pure vibes. If the FDA closes the case cleanly, this rips like a relief valve; if one more chain gets named, the whole salad sector stays untouchable through Labor Day.

Apple (AAPL) 2.1%

  • Shares slid nearly 3%, single-handedly lopping the biggest chunk off the Dow, just days after hitting a record ~$335 and briefly passing Nvidia as the world's most valuable company at roughly $4.9 trillion.

  • The drop looks like classic profit-taking ahead of next week's fiscal Q3 report, even as BofA reiterated its Buy rating and $380 target, modeling a beat with ~$109B in revenue and $1.89 in EPS.

  • Peel Take: Heavy is the head that wears the market-cap crown; Apple held the belt for roughly the length of a Vision Pro demo before handing it back. To be clear, nothing broke; it's just that at $4.9T, "in line" counts as a sell signal and "beat" is already in the price. Buy the product, sure. The stock needs a flawless victory.

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Banana Brain Teaser

Previous

Last year, 26 members of a certain club traveled to England, 26 members traveled to France, and 32 members traveled to Italy. Last year, no members of the club traveled to both England and France, 6 members traveled to both England and Italy, and 11 members traveled to both France and Italy. How many members of the club traveled to at least one of these three countries last year?

Answer: 67

Today

For each student in a certain class, a teacher adjusted the student’s test score using the formula y = 0.8x+20, where x is the student’s original test score, and y is the student’s adjusted test score. If the standard deviation of the original test scores of the students in the class was 20, what was the standard deviation of the adjusted test scores of the students in the class?

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